Wednesday, October 13, 2004

as long as i dont know why im staying here, im never going to settle.

everything i own is either in my house...or in one of eleven cleverly labeled boxes.

i'm weighing a delima....or a choice...or an it what you will. its filling most of the space in my head this week.

since ive already talked to all of the important people about it who'd see this...i'll vent about it here, as well.

i'm trying to decide if its wise for me to move away from georgia and to missouri...or not.

my best friend needs a roommate..and we've *always* said we'd live together at some point in our lives. i realised a few months ago that i have no reason NOT to move anyplace when i am given the opportunity..because at the point i'm at in my life...i have that freedom. im not near any of my closest friends...and i have a sort of generic job that doestny realy pay me as much as im worth for all i do...other than the fact that they let me get away with almost anything there. i WANT to know life in other parts of the country. ive lived all across the south...and i want to be somepalce else, if only to say that i have known that.

however..a twist was thrown into this realization when my parents found they were able to move HERE. now im about to be nearer to my mom, dad, and sisters (who are ten yrs old) than ive been in four years...and im considering moving away a few months after they arive? not only moving away..but moving further than an easy day's drive. when i moved here, i moved only 7 hrs away (6 heading east and 8 heading west.) springfield is twice that far. it can be done in a day..but its not an easy day. in moving here, i was moving to a destination of my family that my parents are from here...they easily come visit me with that kind of background for short visits, holidays, to see grandparents. in be doing well to see my family once in 6 months, probably...and that would be me comming to them with whatever vacation time i can take from wherever i work.

at first i was facing also that i'd have to move with only what i can load into my car...but that *might* be worked around, in that a good frined of mine is moving to seattle (owns no car) and will already be renting a truck and wants a driving companion for at least part of her trip...i could tow my car and load into a truck with her and kill both birds with one stone, so to speak. that crosses out one of the big "cons" that was on my list against moving.

so...i need to figure out:
1. why do i want to leave so badly?
2. is the expense of moving worth it if i get there and things dont work out and i decide to come back?
3. how dependant am i on my family?

the fact that this could be a temporary move makes things seem even more clear to me, though that might deter some others. 6 to 9 months in a new place might be just the taste i need to know where i belong....or to direct me back to where i was in the first place. i feel guilty for wanting to leave when my family is just getting here...but i've already put in more time in augusta than i ever thought i would to begin with.

i dunno.
pray for me, if thats your thing.

comment with your own pros and cons, for fun.


Anonymous said...

I'll be praying for you girl. Love you, Haley

Anonymous said...

Hey dear. I am definitely praying. I would absolutely love for you to be here, but more than that, I want you to be in a place that is best for you.

Anonymous said...


Anonymous said...

do it! you know you wanna!

Anonymous said...

I'm praying for you. Dad