Friday, April 30, 2004

today's topic is...mix cds/mix tapes.

If you've seen high fidelity, which you should have, you know that mix tapes carry a good bit of weight. as a girl who has recieved a number of mixes which i still frequently listen to from a number of boys, not most of whom had any romantic involvement with me....i feel this is an interesting matter to ponder.

the interesting thing about mixes..the most mind-boggling how dificult it is to tell if the mix was made to be music i, the reciever, would probably like, or if it were meant to be a sampling of the maker's personal taste at the time....or a sampling of their thoughts toward the reciever. its interesting how those lines get mixed (oops) when dealing with relationships of any sort.

some of the mixes i've goten were recieved from pretty much strangers..vagrant mix tape exchanges that resulted in new musical doors opened for me. because of these mixes, i discovered musicians i never would have heard on my own. i cant listen to the mix without thinking of the person who made it for me..but i know they didnt know me well enough to have speculated much on how i'd possibly react to their musical tastes. however, by them sharing this mix with me, they have shared something of themselves and caused me to love it.
other mixes were recieved from close friends who knew we shared some musical tastes and probably wanted to help improve my own a bit.
some of my mixes are from boys with whom i've experienced a bit more than friendship. these mixes tell something about the relationships which existed at their creation. of the mixes, i rarely listen to at all though its maker didnt realy hit the nail on the head with what i liked or disliked at all, or maybe its just that i've changed a lot since then....while another of them seemed to pretty much be part of the catylist in my musical tastes.

everytime i get a new mix, i know its going to open a new window of music for me. without mix tapes or cds i'd probably never have fallen in love with artists like jeff buckley, cat stevens(maybe love is a strong term), u2 and the proclaimers, the soundtrack from whatever videogame skot put on that mix cd years ago, rufus wainright (sp?), unwed sailor, kate rusby, nick drake...and a number of peices of the hearts of the boys who made these mixes for me...even if they never meant to share it.

thanks for sharing.

Tuesday, April 27, 2004

and then there are the many hims who've been placed in my life...
...the hims who remind me that i'm important enough to be surprised.
...the hims who sits on my couch at 1:30 in the morning and its not awkward and there is no attraction and its time worth spending
...the hims who ask how i'm doing..and realy want to know.
...the hims who show up at my door with random gifts for me, just because i was thought of.
...the hims who watch as i become who i will be
..the hims whom i know are not the him i'm holding out for...but they are each in their own way a part of perfect for me
and maybe these hims are to tide me over 'till i have just him
and maybe they are to remind me that i'm okay for now
and maybe they are part of learning who he is
and maybe i already know him but he's not who he will be yet
there's a lump in my throat and a sick feeling somewhere in the middle of me and i'm perfectly well but not completely okay, though i know i'll be fine regardless of whatever changes or stays the same.

that would make for an interesting begininng to a song...too bad i dont know where it leads after that.
i see something in my head that i wish were panning out before me, but i've not any ounce of assurance that its anywhere near a possibility (and its not even remotely related to my previous two entries...)
and there's not a day that i dont think about it.

Saturday, April 24, 2004

Coffeegirl Cafe

so...whatcha think?
hrm...well..maybe hope is renewed.

today i attended my first specialty coffee asoc. convention. 8 or 9 of us from the shop went (that includes the owners and their two sons sons) and we were treated to all number of coffee related vendors..from machine companies, roasters, syrups, various cold mixes, cups, everything you think about in running a coffee shop pretty much besides furnishings. some were great..some were horrible.
its a realy cool feeling to have all of these vendors offering you all number of samples and telling you how much they want your business. it makes you feel so important..and they dont even know how important they are to me, if my dream were to fully awaken...and i think it may.
every day that i work at this shop, i'm reminded how many things i'd do differently if i were given the freedom to take it into my own hands...if it were my own.
every vendor that i saw and loved for its own reasons reminded me that i want to be able to be in charge of selecting things completely. those that i didnt love reminded me why selection must be made so carefully. this experience reminded me that i want to have the best quality...that i want to have the most interesting give the most relaxing experience...that i realy love the way espresso machines look...
now ive got lots more information and will soon recieve more from various vendors whom i left my information with. i almost feel like i could do this. almost. i at least see that i still have a huge passion for it and i feel that my motives and passion are better directed than those of my employers. i feel as though theyve tried to create something quickly and cookie-cutter like, whereas i want something special..something with unique charm and a deeper level of thought put into the selections... it takes a lot of research and hunting out the best of everything

*shrugs* i'm rambling...and i'm tired....but at least i'm thinking.

Friday, April 23, 2004

anyone remember the tales of last summer's roach militia and the war the ensued? at least one of the combatants survived and found my new camp. i think i took care of him. i hope he didnt have a chance to warn any others. those wars can get brutal....

Thursday, April 15, 2004

some marvelous things...

1. Raina Faith has taken her first breath! (and many afterwards) julie and zach have a new baby girl and shes healthy and beautiful!
*zach actually didnt tell me her name..but this is the one they'd picked i'm assuming its the one they stuck with.

2. the spring road trip: nick and myself leave this afternoon soon as he gets off work. we're driving to mom and dads house tonight, and tomorrow we're going to hattiesburg. i get to stay with my roommates from last year and we get to go to the spring music theatre collaberaton between usm and wcc-into the woods.

3. i get to see Raina with my own eyes! :)

4. i get to hang out with haley and grab coffee with her!

5. we're going to see skot and jiffer and jason and jennifer and carey on saturday!

6. i'm offf work till wednesday!

Monday, April 12, 2004

newest musics:

Sarah McLachlan-Mirrorball (live) i've needed some sarah in my life for so many years
Bob Dylan-Greatest Hits Vol 2 (two discs) its different for me..and good for me..and just..needed
Jeff Buckley-Mystery White Boy (live) i'm a sucker...
The Swift-self titled gotta have some piano rock...this is happier than lots of ben folds...i listen to enough down stuff already
Caedmon's Call-Long Line of Leavers 3rd owned caedmon's album..2nd full length...can you believe it?!
Tracy Chapman-Let It Rain glad to have this sound in my ears
Tori Amos-To Venus and Back (two discs: one live album, one fresh album) i couldnt own sarah and not own tori..the girls need each far ive heard disc one while driving and is it ever perfect for such purposes!
Joshua Redman-Timeless Tales it was realy cheap in the new jazz listing and the clips sounded good..havent played the album yet

the first five were from a couple weeks ago..then last week bmg had the audacity to email me about a 60% off sale with free shipping..can you believe them? the nerve....
(but this is getting to be such fun!)

Saturday, April 10, 2004

Hebrews 12:2
Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. says joy is...
Function: noun
Etymology: Middle English, from Old French joie, from Latin gaudia, plural of gaudium, from gaudEre to rejoice; probably akin to Greek gEthein to rejoice
1 a : the emotion evoked by well-being, success, or good fortune or by the prospect of possessing what one desires : DELIGHT b : the expression or exhibition of such emotion : GAIETY
2 : a state of happiness or felicity : BLISS
3 : a source or cause of delight

what is this thing which he looked forward to possessing? its being at home with his father...with you! with me! WE are his cause of delight! we are his bliss.

have a joyous Easter, my friends.

Thursday, April 08, 2004

for the many fans keeping tabs on my life:

today i went to work at 2, called nick to ask him to come in earlier (4) and was thankful for a fairly slow day (as my reactions are fairly slowed from the grogginess) when nick arrived, i let him deal with customers while i quietly made drinks and cleaned things, trying not to cough all the while. around 5, still a very slow day at the coffee shop, i decided it would be perfectly fine for me (and beneficial to the owners, since two heads cost more than one) clock out and go home for a couple hours nap, then return to help nick close...this i did. i dont know how i'd have survived without the sleep i took this afternoon. thank you god for slow days when i need them.
i felt miserable..and i dont usually admit that.
tomorrow i have the day off...and all i have to do is go to an easter evensong choir rehearsal at 7...where i'll probably not sing, if possible..maybe i'll sit someplace not by anybody so no one gets coughed on. yeah. i'm gonna try to sleep soon...but i figure i'll probably be up and down all night since i havent got anything to do to have to be awake for later..and i'll probably not sleep straight through the night the way things have been i'll see some of you kids in the wee hours.
allergies finally hit are some discoveries

i make a terrible sick person because i dont like to stop moving when i feel it comming on me (though when i'm not sick, not moving is perfectly fine with me)
the not moving me walked a mile and a half on tuesday night, did two dumbbell circuits yesterday around noon and rode a bicycle for the first time in a couple of years yesterday in the late afternoon in a hilly neighborhood. ive got bike seat pain to go with the stuffy nose, popping ears, and cough...yay! :)
i dont like taking medicine because it always seems to make me sleepy or feel worse off than without it...but i'm *sounding* bad now and have to go to work where i give people beverages and they dont want to think that the girl who just made that cup of java may have a i dont know what to do with myself.
i'm hungry but i dont want to eat anything ive got. i'm the kid who doesnt eat when she's not feeling well. (i'm also the kid who loved the "i've been sick this week" weight loss she remembers from her i'm making msyelf eat a bit of previously frozen pizza)

Friday, April 02, 2004

coffee girl is still mumbling to herself
coffee girl is actually at work today
coffee girl is not on my links
coffee girl is cute too and has a lip piercing
coffee girl is nice enough to get him coffee
coffee girl is a mostly acoustic 10 song collection which displays her genre eclectic style
coffee girl is damn lucky to have captured your respect/attention
coffee girl is on board
coffee girl is pissing me off
coffee girl is pricelss

becca is offering sun tan lotion wildly
becca is an amazing woman
becca is a daily evil that i have to deal with
becca is sweet
becca is a young fresh face of poetry today
becca is a sweetheart and the
becca is such a good big sister
becca is a multi
becca is cool
becca is our main resident couch potato
becca is much loved by her previous family
becca is home
becca is exploding on the scene throughout the country
becca is one lucky girl
becca is a real cutie
becca is laying in bed and thinking about the past
becca is a girl who's jolly she likes to take the san fran trolley she's great because she is not premed
becca is about to give you a piece of her mind
becca is always amusing for us
becca is now laughing and saying that she just wanted a new screen
becca is not coming back
becca is my hero
becca is the key
becca is too much like me
becca is already a good friend
becca is also learning to climb up on things and has nearly destroyed several vases of flowers and knickknacks that i assumed were safe
becca is the realist of the team
becca is counting the days until her life returns to normal
becca is
becca is not as innocent as she seems
becca is not the filmmaker
becca is attracted to our johnny depp
becca is a sight reader
becca is his perfect foil
becca is in heaven
becca is growing up juat like her so it is as if she's still here but in a smaller version
becca is convinced he's for real
becca is much more relaxed
becca is a vocalist with a lot of class in her sound
becca is pretty damned cool
becca is seen
becca is a delightful heroine
becca is not happy to see the man she once loved show up again
becca is remembered for her big heart and courageous nature
becca is cool
becca is feeling great
becca is alive
becca is such a good big sister
becca is well within the bosom of our readership; close enough that she would probably be recognized by a few of our normal readers
becca is currently sold in 14 space
becca is so excited for her birthday and christmas
becca is 34 points away from the 1
becca is as tasty as a corn dog
becca is available in full color patternbook format
becca is a pool pirrhana
becca is a nice play on words
becca is a lyricist and has collaborated with composers and singers on a variety of projects
becca is in her music lesson at the moment and i
becca is used by the world’s best makeup artists and has a growing list of celebrity fans including
becca is cadie's favorite person
becca is for sale
becca is my soul sister
becca is being launched in norfolk and suffolk
becca is a stunningly beautiful redhead
becca is about the same height as mom
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becca is rockin
becca is extraordinarily committed to helping others
becca is faced with decisions about loyalty
becca is one lucky girl
becca is a client of mine
becca is mesmerized by her grandmother gemma's story of sleeping beauty
becca is passionate about the choice we all have not to fail
becca is a remarkable character
becca is coming home this weekend
becca is now unreachable
becca is a very sweet girl and she tries to be fair and have been more than merciful with him and others
becca is so sweet and so quiet
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becca is quick to point out
becca is a backyard daredevil on her blue
becca is the 2002
becca is mugging for the camera on the playground at rachel’s school
becca is now officially on the market
becca is really becca
becca is an odd little gal
becca is now officially on
becca is my buddy
becca is crawling on the ground pathetically
becca is at the mental hospital
becca is nowhere to be found during the intro scene after becca talks to her mother on the phone
becca is _____
becca is so kind to start something like this up for our pleasure
becca is sent by her well educated middling sort mother to "finish herself"
becca is a wonderful friend to the village
becca is a great draw
becca is the one i madly in love with if i was stuck in an elevator with becca i would make out with her ;d i think becca should live with me
becca is what you want
becca is growing by leaps and bounds
becca is still undergoing
becca is rude
becca is soooo hot
becca is helping out with several musicals in development
becca is a hyper
becca is now married and is a doctor
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becca is a 6 month old kitten who was living on the streets with her brother
becca is consistently wrong
becca is adorable
becca is consistently wrong on matters of cricket development policy in the west indies
becca is the rarest of specimens
becca is soon brought into another household
becca is an outstanding leader
becca is taken care of
becca is a very courageous young lady and she believes for the best
becca is running through the streets in her mind
becca is quiet and humble
becca is the creative mind behind just about everything you see in print at rock creek
becca is offering sun tan lotion wildly