i think i am completely at peace with my life as it is right now...why is that?
this evening i prepared myself a light meal of noodles with stirfried veggies and chicken and decided to sit on my living room floor to enjoy it. the room was dimly lit by one lamp and a couple of asian scented candles. jasmine insence burned on the desk and jessye norman sang beautiful music to me through the cd player. i followed the meal with a cup of green tea.
as i was sitting there in my created ambiance, i realised that absolutely nothing was hindering my state of calm. nothing was in the forefront of my mind. if i looked at the candle, i thought "candle." if i focused on the music, i interpreted the german words i understood. if i looked at my hands holding the teacup, i thought "mmm...tea." and i was completely relaxed and at ease with myself sitting on the floor.
i have no big descisions on the horizon. i have no worries within my relationships. work is going smoothly for the most part. i'll never reach perfection in my persuit of God...but i dont feel worthless in it at the moment. i realise that i dont have to be in augusta forever..and i also realise that for now i am in augusta..and i dont have any reason to try to escape it. i'm where i am...and i'm at peace.