well..one of my housemates is looking for someplace new to live. i knew she would be...i hoped she would..for her sake. i hurt for her because i know her personality is simply being smothered in our house as it is. its small and we sleep when she doesnt and she has to comply with our silence while shes wide awake and would love to have people over..so for her sanity..i hope she finds someplace. i pray she finds the perfect roommate setting..and that its good for her and helps her grow..and lets her be HERSELF again...i havent seen her as herself in well..about a year, i guess.

how strange it is to say "i love you and because of that i hope you find someplace to move out to soon" yeah..its odd and doesnt seem like it should make sense...but it does..completely.

so..in light of this probabilty...what of our house without a jen?

i think carrie and i could pull the weight of the rent as just two of us..realy. carrie is going to be fully licensed and graduated to do hair in january or february..and when that happens she'll be able to pick up a lot more work..making good money..a chunk more than shes getting at the moment...and i havent realy been being frugal with my food and other expenses altely..i have room to cut back in order to still manager a bit more in the bills...and we've talked about how niether of us care much to pay for a phone line..we got that for jen because she kept going over her cell plan.

carrie and i tend to buy a lot of the same food products and such, too...we use the same grocery store and actually end up going about the same time to shop.so maybe we could even make groceries a roommate bonding thing in the future. i think we could realy make the house more homey just the two of us...agreeing on how things are done and stuff has never been much of an issue between us.

anyhow..yeah. this house realy is made for two people..and it could be realy fun to set it up as such...id get to paint a new room and have space for the stuff i'll be acquiring when mom and dad finish their move...wow!

dont get me wrong though..i do love jen..i do. i love knowing her..i love talking with her..but those chances are so rare lately that all we get to cover are house issues. i miss her as she was.