Saturday, September 07, 2013

part three: from sickness into health (looks like there will be at least four)

(click here for part one)
(click here for part two)

I found some prayer journal entries i made surrounding the first surgery

October 4,2012
Tomorrow is Mike's consult with the surgeon. His GI doctor truly has tried to think of every other viable option prior to this.
Help me to continue to trust not only you, and your leading on this, but also the wisdom of the doctors you've provided for us. Knowing that Mike's case has been discussed at hospital meetings and used as a teaching discussion kind of helps solidify to me that Dr. Gully is taking this very seriously, not just dealing with the patient at the moment they are in the building, but carrying his concern to others to try to solve this mystery.
At the same time, I don't want to sound harsh, or under appreciative of some friends' concern and advice at mentioning special diets and health advice. It is difficult to receive when I never did fully trust Mike's assigned dietician's advice and understanding...
Please give me wisdom and knowledge to best feed my husband and trust you to bring your healing in the best way possible, that you receive the honor and glory for it all.

October 23, 2012
As of Friday (last week) we have Michael's surgery scheduled! I think I am so relived to see an end to the medicine treatments that don't work but that wear on my husband with side effects... This feels like a breath of fresh air. I realise it will not be all roses getting from where we are to the new Michael. Its a 3 surgery process across the span of about 6 months. He still will not function the same as the rest of us, but if all of this goes as planned, he wont need to use a bag for the rest of his life, and the outcome, though not as convenient as someone who's never had UC, will be easier than his life now. I am confident that this is right. I do not have a guarantee that all the details will go perfectly, but I feel so at ease about letting them operate on my dear Michael...
You,God, are trustworthy and faithful. You continue to provide for us through support financially and in prayer. You've not only given us a church family to take care of us...but TWO locally, plus one in Mississippi and one in Texas, all who have been tremendous to us in their care. I'm trusting you with the doctor and nurses you've put us with-you have made them and placed them. Help us to shine in our faith, that they see you in our reactions. Give me wisdom and grace to accept help and to know what help I need, as friends seek to assist us in service to you.
Psalm 100:3 “Know that the LORD, He is God! It is He who made us and we are his; We are his people and the sheep of his pasture.”

October 25, 2012
I keep being drawn to the Psalms. This morning I am at Psalm 102, which feels like it may be the cry of my husband when it talks about the pain and disheartened stress.
Help us not to have a false sense of hope going into this surgery....I mean prepare him for the continued difficulties he will face even though the worst will be gone. Help me to be patient with him and compassionate when he gets frustrated with the correct foods to eat. Give us both extra grace to face these difficulties together and help each other through them.
I hope and desire that by the time he is able to consistently face life out of the house again, that someone will have a job available to him, preferring someone with the knowledge and compassion to see us through the next two surgeries and recovery period. It would be amazing both financially and for him emotionally, to have that available. Please open now the way in which we should go with that.
Thank you for continuing to provide more than just enough with our very little. I feel like the widow with the oil jar, or the boy with the lunch of what we are able to earn, we should not be able to make ends meet, but you have been stretching our dollars for the past three years, never giving us what society would call “plenty” but never leaving us in need of anything. We have been clothed,fed with difficult diet needs, kept cars running and bills paid. You moved us twice and covered all our medical needs,and even provided that we were able to go to Haiti. Math would not add these up and match our income.

December 18, 2012
Today Michael begins work again! His last paycheck was written in September 2011. You have not failed to provide for us. This month took our savings account down to $50. Not enough left in it to cover our next month's bills. I asked of you, Lord, to provide for us financially,and you immediately began to give through your people. 1St $12 then $50 and now a source of income.
So I do not forget in the future, Mike is going back to work at Fast Signs. He will be 3 days a week. It has been 3 years since he's worked there. 2 years since he asked them about rehiring him (when we moved back), and 1 ½ years since we found ourselves members at the same church as Melanie and Miles. Only you could have planned these circumstances-to place us in fellowship with them, that they know our situation, know he will have to work and then take off again-and have OFFERED him this at the moment we found ourselves most in need. You are so faithful. You are great and praised. I remember asking you months ago,that you would provide a job offer JUST like this at this very moment.
You are teaching me the importance of asking for specifics of you. Acknowledging my need and your power to provide it.
Help me continue to not only trust you to carry us, but to provide for our wants and needs as we express them humbly to you.

No comments: