I've been in the process of transferring much of the blog entries
i wrote during my pregnancy and first years with jennifer into a
handwritten journal. Its something i started two years ago and have
not been very good at completing it. I finally am to the point of
transferring the section after her birth. I honestly feel as though
by being so far behind in it, i am missing things i would love to
share with regarding her 2nd and 3rd years, but it has been very
therapeutic for me to have just now rewritten the sections from labor
and her birth. i needed to dive deep into those thoughts again now as
i am just beginning to feel movements of our second little one and
want to learn from and remember jennifers birth now so clearly so i
can be better prepared for this little one.
This brought me
to realize i haven't made any entries in a year and a half. this
time-span may well be called the most difficult year and a half we've
seen, thus my lack of updates. Even the months before that when
i did post, it was almost entirely chronicling the life of our
daughter, and ignoring the difficult-to-talk-bout health issues of my
beloved. Though we have grown so much...we have certainly hurt
much....i haven't wanted to write about it...because i haven't wanted
to face it in print, or maybe even admit it...in the midst of it. now
that i've been rereading and rewriting the experiences just prior to
it, i am reminded of the huge benefit of having my experiences
written down, and of the great opportunity I have been avoiding to
give God more praise for His faithfulness and stability in our
journey....and i hope that i have not waited too long to engage my
memory in recording what i've been through.....bear with me as I
attempt to recount these skipped-over parts of our family.
The
year after Michael and I were married, we both discovered running. I
got into it with some friends of mine, and he followed me into and
turned out to be a lot better at committing to it. He would get up
and run in the mornings before going to work, and sometimes would
ride his bike to work instead of driving. About a year into becoming
so active, Michael began to have more and more really irritating
symptoms and we didnt know what they might be symptoms of. He began
to have difficulty completing a run without needing to find a place
to use the restroom. We'd heard that sometimes runners have issues
with that, so at first it was just embarrassing, but sometimes he
didn't make it to a restroom in time... About January 2009, 6 months
before we moved to fort worth, through some trial and error, and
reading about symptoms, we self-diagnosed Michael with Celiac
disease, and because all his symptoms fit (frequent diarrhea, skin
dryness and red itchy patches, vitamin and iron deficiency, mood
swings, etc...) AND it is an illness which is only treated by a diet
change, we changed his diet to test our theory. we removed gluten
from his -and mostly from my- diet, we waited. because of the way
celiac works, we knew it could take 1 to 2 years to see remission, so
immediate results were not expected, nor seen. However, he did seem
to be experiencing fewer symptoms, so we thought we were on the
correct path.
....Then came our move to Texas. With that, the
stress of job hunting, financial worry, expecting our first child,
school, discovering Michael's dad had brain cancer... Everything you
ever read says that stress aggravates digestive issues, so it did not
much surprise me that as school became more challenging, so did
keeping up with Michael's nutrition (and laundry...) He was working,
or in classes most of the time and coming home to change clothes
whenever he'd have an episode. (that's what i'll call it, its nicer
that way..see why i avoided writing about this previously?)
This
lead us to need to move back from Texas much sooner than we had
planned, and as we know now, stayed in this same situation for
much longer than we had imagined... refer to
This entry for more context on our move...and if you add in the
part about Michael's failing health, it makes a bit more sense. i
hate that i wasn't willing to face and admit this gaping need in our
lives for support. it was so very difficult to talk about, so only
those closest to us knew the whole story. i just wish i had written
it out more honestly....for me...and for anyone who may now be able
to benefit from our past struggles.
So....after we'd moved to
North Augusta, into my grandmother's house, I quickly called to begin
the process of getting Jennifer on SC medicaid...and turns out our
entire family got it, which was something I just wasn't looking for.
This began Michael and myself getting routine Dr exams...which
neither of us had afforded in...decades. Michael began to talk with
his physician about his assumed celiac, and at the same time we
decided to go to Haiti
with a mission team from our church...thus needed lots of shots and
antibiotics for the trip. the many doctor trips for mission trip
shots kind of overshadowed his need for further testing, plus his
primary care Doc moved so he was shifted around a bit from doctor to
doctor in the practice. also, add to that, once he began complaining
of symptoms worsening after the mission trip, he kept being treated
as though he had picked something up in Haiti, rather than as though
he has been struggling with diarrhea, anemia, and lack of bowel
control for months and years prior. We knew this wasn't a parasite or
reaction to something out of the country. Finally, ended up being
assigned the same Doctor i've been seeing the whole time, whom I had
been very pleased with, and she heard his whole story and immediately
understood his issues needed looking into. from April 2011 to
November 2011 as he was shuffled from doctor to doctor, he also ended
up losing his job due to being late or having to clock out
early...completely due to his digestive issues. In November 2011 he
finally was given testing to see if something else were wrong with
his digestive system. we were immediately told that he had
inflammatory
bowel disease which meant he had ulcerative
colitis or Crohns,
While we didnt know till january 2012 which he had, and both take
somewhat opposite diet changes to live with and treat, it was knowing
something, and knowing that we had help getting to the root of it.
knowing that there ARE treatments available...etc. having a tested
diagnosis and medical team working with us was such a relief. Anytime
someone is vying for you, on your team, and helping to find a
solution, it helps carry the weight.
Due to holiday schedules,
it was January before we got the diagnosis...and found out he had
ulcerative colitis. it meant that almost everything he ate caused his
colon to become and stay inflamed. it is an auto-immune disease, so
his system was attacking his colon. Theoretically, if you can find
out your triggers, once the colon calms down, you may just have a few
foods to avoid to keep from getting sick. I had wondered why being
gluten free had helped him feel a little better....turns out...the
best help to UC during a flair up, is going to a low fiber diet.
prior to going gluten free, we had been eating whole grain
everything, so in switching to gluten free foods, we had dropped a
significant portion or our grain fiber, and were mainly getting fruit
and veggie fiber. still more than was recommended for someone with a
severely inflamed colon, but significantly less than previous...thus
the noted improvement.
So....recap:
January 2009 assumed
celiac, went gluten free
November 2010 declining health issues and
stress, moved back to north augusta, in with grandma.
April 2011
through November 2011 dealt with not getting tested and not getting
listened to.
January 2012 found out what was the issue. time to
celebrate...right?
well....Spring, summer, and fall 2012 were
a doozy....i'll get into that part in a later entry....i promise.
(proceed to part two)
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