Wednesday, October 15, 2003

(i already posted this on a couple of forums...but i wanted to stick it here so i could keep my own copy of the accounts. who knows..maybe someone who didnt see it there will see it here and either: a. be scared of me, or b. feel less alone. *shrugs*)

Sunday, October 12
on knowing things will happen...

i dunno..this happens to me rather often..its actualy very frustrating to me because i havent a clue *why* i get to know these things.

example from the past:
my 2nd year of all state choir, previous to its start that week fer and i were in the mall in alexandria and i had this gut feeling that we'd see chet maynard that day in the mall. i just *knew* it would happen. i told fer of this and so we kept our eyes pealed for him. it got to be almost the time to leave and who did we run into? chet. yup. there he was in the mall while we were of course, we spoke to him and he was buying stuff for the all state trip.

example from today:
this afternoon i went down to the riverwalk park in augusta to write in my journal for a while (i've felt litterarily dry that a word?) i had that gut feeling again...this time i just *knew* that i was gonna see Miles Kilpatrick today by the river. it was realy strange..because i hardly know Miles..he came to a show one weekend at the coffee shop and he played in the coffee shop this past fri and sat nights...those are realy the only encounters ive had with him. but anyhow, i just felt like i'd see him today. i stayed there on my bench by the river for over and hour and got a lot of writing out of my system..i wasnt just hanging around waiting on my prediction to come true..but never saw the kid, so i shruged it off as paranioa or some strange guitar-player obsession i'd acquired. later this evening i still felt the need to get off and be by myself to read and write, so i went to the south carolina side of the river to the fishing piers at riverview park. I go there a good bit to be alone and enjoy to water view. i'd hardly gotten settled on the bench on the little pier before i hear someone walking down the path and guess what? it was Miles and a friend of his. i looked at him rather surprised..he may have misread the expression as disturbed..i hope not. he came over and gave me a hug and then left me to my reading...but what the heck?

i dunno..these known runins never hold much value or depth..its just "oh, look, i ran into the person i knew i'd see what?" thats whats so frustrating...WHY does god let me know whats going to happen if there's not some purpose behind it? i started trying to formulate reasons for it while driving around town this evening and i thought maybe he's warming me up..teaching me to know when the gut feeling is real so some day he can tell me something realy important and i'll know its true because it will feel just like the feeling when i *know* i'm going to run into so-and-so-who-ive-not-seen-in-a-year or the-boy-ive-only-spoken-to-a-few-times. (hyphens are fun)

its kind of scary...does this happen to any of you kids?

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