Sunday, April 13, 2003

thoughts from the middle of a metal staircase....
"My head feels so jumbled...longing to pour itself out in concrete thoughts, but unsure how those thoughts fit together. I long to have real communication with someone or to sit in a silence with someone who knows me. Untill then, I pull farther and farther away from relationships where I am only known a little. I find myself prefering to be alone in a room full of people that absolutely do not know me than to simply socialize with people I have known for years. I want something real, something deep, some connection with another...or nothing at all."

i've just come to a point where so much seems superficial....and i think i'm tired of it.

i realise that a lot of what i thought about last night was influenced by the emotional state that the play last night left me in....but i needed to think about it.

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