Tuesday, November 17, 2009

Trust

My faith is being stretched so much in everything involved in our moving here. We knew that we'd be here jobless in a hurting job market. We also knew that while we'd made the decision to move in a bleak housing market, our home had sold within days...proving that God still does more than all we ask or imagine. We moved here with the knowledge that we had that house money to carry us through this first semester. sometimes having the money makes faith seem much easier. Then, once we'd arrived, we discovered another turn of events....our pregnancy.

that put us here: miles from "home" and family. jobless. about to have all kinds of medical bills. and then another person to care for. we knew we could make it through one semester with what God had given us. But did we trust Him with carrying us through the unseen?

Now its November. the semester is rolling to a halt. I've been to seven or eight job interviews but applied for a far greater number than that. Mike has had to cut his classload down just to barely keep up. It has begun to feel that we were in over our heads.

This all began to really feel burdensome to me last night, as I was thinking about what Christmas would look like this year and if we'd get to see family at all. My answer has been lately "If i get a job, We might not have time to go see family due to scheduling, but if i don't have one by then....we might just have to move home during the holidays....before we are too broke to make the trip."

At what point do we say "enough" and go back where we started?

I keep having to be reminded of how quickly God sold that house....

God is faithful.
1. we haven't run out of money yet. He never promised we'd have more than enough. having the house money was more of a blessing than most get in these circumstances. I have certainly been taking that for granted.
2. I have been approved for Medicaid (being jobless and pregnant helps that become a simple process, i suppose) which means most, if not all, of the medical bills will be covered.
3. I received a call back this morning from the director at a job which i interviewed at over a week ago, explaining that she's been very busy with state and corporate inspections..so she is just now getting around to making my reference calls. She wanted to know that i'm still available before she made them. (not hired yet...but at least they like me and are pursing me!)
4. minutes after the job call, I began my morning devotions. (I've been reading in Genesis, then looking up a passage in the concordance on the word "Glory")
I'd left off last time in Genesis..chapter 15..where Abram is doubting that he could possibly be made great when he still is childless. Abram was looking at his circumstances logically and humanly, just as I have been. God reminded Abram of His promise and made a new covenant then and there. It was in that passage that Abram was commended for his faith. Just after Abram's moment of doubt and practically accusing God of being a liar, He still had faith. He was considered righteous.
And then guess what my "glory" verses included? Philippians 4:19..."And my God will supply every need of yours according to his riches in glory in Christ Jesus."

i feel sometimes as though my faith is so small...yet i do have faith. and everyday I wake up believing that God will carry us to whatever He would have us do. yet, i still try to work out all the details on my own understanding....

Trust in the LORD with all your heart,
and do not lean on your own understanding.
In all your ways acknowledge him,
and he will make straight your paths.
Be not wise in your own eyes;
fear the LORD, and turn away from evil.
It will be healing to your flesh
and refreshment to your bones.

No comments: