Saturday, January 18, 2003

i'm going to ramble now.

this is so strange.
i am seriously feeling as though i'm going through some silver-lined withdrawl. my internet quota doesnt feel complete if i cannot check on all of my regularly visited sites each day.

for some reason i was awake till roughly 5 am last night (this morning)
i could try to blame this on silver-lined being down and causeing me to feel as though i couldnt leave till i had found out it was alright.
but then,of course, i was watching a movie till 2, and then started talking via vagrant private messages to an old friend..and those are always slower than normal the little bit of catching up we did took about 10 times longer than it would have in a normal situation.

once you've stayed up till 3 or 3:30 figure whats the point of rushing off to you stay up a bit longer..and then it gets to be 4..and then 4:30..and you realise that no one is going to add any new posts or replies to the forums and that silver-lined is not comming back within the next few hours..and you are convinced that the computer cheats at all you turn in.
but then, just before you drift to sleep, you feel compeled to journal with a pencil and paper via a tiny reading light so as not to wake the roommates. The urge is so strong and the matter seems so very important that you pull yourself from the bed, find your journal, and start making a list that you've never been able to make before. reaching the end of the flow of drift off to sleep, pencil in hand, book light still on.

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