It's been a while... Again

One day I'm going to get consistent with.... something.

It's been over a year since my last entries and here I am again.

My main goal in this blog is the have a place that these memories are stored up and an outlet to save my assembled words.

I have several draft posts I meant to finish and share last year,  but looking at them now,  the subject matter is either now old news,  or about projects I haven't even  completed yet.

I'll just leave this here to remind me that my life is amazing

even if it's not published in detail on a regular basis

A mom. A broom. A trash bag. A mission.

An "I spy" bottle full of colord rice and various small objects was dumped all over one of my daughters' beds this afternoon.

 I sent them out of the room, shut the door, and  forbid them from entering it till i could address the situation.

While everyone else ate supper I took a trash bag and a broom to their room.

 Mom with a trash bag and a broom means whole room is getting  swept and reordered.

Once I started I decided one of their beds needed a new location to keep it from getting so much "lost" underneath (she squirrels things away)...so the whole thing is in a mess right now and they will be getting to stay up a bit later tonight for me to fix it.

Also...I've told them they will not be allowed back in their room after they get up in the morning without my permission. Let me enjoy the clean room for a few hours.

Have you ever grounded your kids out of their room?

Campbelltown, Hamburg, Hammonds Ferry, Hampton Terrace, North Augusta

I've been taking in a lot of North Augusta area history recently....through searches online.
Tonight, however, we were able to  watch a set of historical talks about who began the town called Hamburg, how the railroad came to the area, the rise and fall of the Hampton Terrace Hotel, who settled here before this area was ever dreamed of as North Augusta and what they did, how they traded, how they traveled.

These were lectures which someone had videoed and then copied to dvd from vhs by the Nancy  Carson  Library (North Augusta's public library)...which i happened to see on the shelf while avoiding the downpouring lightning storm this afternoon.

I'm so glad to have the resources we do to feed my curiosity about bricks and streets and the really old homes scattered among the midcentury neighborhoods. It really is helping put all these pieces  together to understand the land we live on...and how very different it could have been if events had played out differently...

I'd post some links to sites I've looked at for tales of these places, but I'm not certain of each story tellers validity,  so I'll let you Google those yourself.

I'm thankful for my daughter's food allergies

Six months ago I could not say this. Six months ago I was deeply stressed by any event involving food. Grocery shopping litterally left me in tears and social gatherings made me feel so very on-edge.

Early this year we confirmed that our three and a half year old daughter has a list of foods she should not eat. She has never had a true anaphylactic reaction, though she has had multiple symptoms pop up at once...for which I probably should had used her epipen and made a hospital trip. Thankfully, she did not progress to worse in that instance. I know that she can either get progressively worse, or lesser reactions as she is exposed and either becomes less allergic or more.

Why would I ever say I'm thankful for this?

I'm thankful that she has the allergies she does, and not the ones she doesn't.

I have learned that, unlike peanut allergies, we shouldn't have to worry as much with exposure to others eating her allergens nearby...as long as she doesnt eat them herself.

I've learned to bake food that feels good to know how to bake. Homemade yeast bread. Fresh pizza, simple tomato sauce, foods that taste good with only a handful of ingredients .... that I can cheaply make the old fashioned way instead of having to rely on expensive specialty products or flour blends.

I'm thankful that it is a very good accountability partner in keeping our budget down. I cannot just grab a meal. I'm required to plan ahead. I think way more than twice before getting food from the one restaurant I trust with her allergies (yes....really...one restaurant)

I'm thankful for the families I can better serve in the future from the things I'm learning now. I'm thankful for the training I am gaining to help me better care for children in our community who may have similar restrictions. I'm thankful for the moms and dads I can stand with in solidarity and compassion as we face these awful mysteries.

I'm thankful that we are avoiding a whole lot of additives in our home...even though it is infuriating that the labeling can legally be so vague as to not actually disclose all of the things on her list....at least we can take comfort in simplicity.

I'm thankful that one day I won't have to read everything my child eats because one day she will be made whole. I'm trusting that one day the Lord will remove this affliction in His perfect kingdom.

 I'm thankful that as long as we dwell on this broken earth, food allergies and so many other illnesses and afflictions remind us that we need Him. We need His perfection. We are completely dependant on His restoration.

  I'm thankful for knowing our brokenness and knowing his mercy.

Praise God, our provider!

 I've been scrambling all over the internet for a few weeks for money saving and money making ideas. Weighing work at home or local part time job options and trying to come up with *anything* to fill in the gaps in our budget. Dreading time-wasting internet surveys and minimum-wage job interviews.

But God, ya'll.

God placed one long-time friend on my mind. I sent her a message asking if she would keep me in mind, should she ever need an assistant for her business. Her response was that she had just *that night* said to her husband  that she needed someone else to help her with a small area of her business....but that it was an area she needed someone she trusted.

I met with her tonight to go over the details and I am just in awe at the way God drew us together to help both of our families at just the right time.

It's not even the first time that God has blown me away by his timing and orchestration with this exact friend. Our God is so amazing!

I still covet your prayers for Mike and I to grow together in budgeting better...we have a long way to go....

but I am so thankful for a Father who doesn't leave us in the dark. He doesn't  just provide our needs...but provides them wrapped in His love through our community of friendship!

A reboot. A restart. A renewed drive to remember.

I think I'm reviving my blog. Will any of my former readers be notified that I've  posted again? Do I have "followers" still? Should i hone in on a certain aspect of our life?  It's been years since I updated this - at all - and I never completely updated the parts about Mike's sickness and health. I'm fairly certain I'm in no mood to delve deep into the emotion involved in completing that story.

Let's just pick up with today.

Hi! I'm Becca.

If you stick around I might write about being an at-home mom of three. You might read about being a second-generation homeschool family. There may be posts about my semi-crunchy parenting. I might write about coffee  or the geeky or dramatic shows I like. There may be entries about bargain hunting. Could post about music or art or crafts or prayer life.

I'm not going to compartmentalize my blog any more than I do my life...its just me. If any of those things sound like you, stick around :)

It Is Not Death To Die

It is such an honor and responsibility to be trusted with raising our children in discipleship. I am so thankful for the opportunities God has given us to share with Jennifer the truth of the gospel. She has been very open in taking initiative in asking really difficult questions about sin and other things.


Tonight at bedtime I read a Clifford the Big Red Dog book about how he began as the runt, and that the daddy in the story “didn't think that Clifford would live through the winter” which started us talking about our former dog, Goldie, and that she died last year. This was the first time I told her that Goldie had died, and not just “she's gone”. I said that Goldie had gotten very old and her legs and hips were hurting a lot, even though she seemed very happy, death was God's way of making her not hurt anymore.


Jennifer's grandpa jimmy also died last year after a long battle with brain cancer. Jennifer remembers her grandpa being sick, and we were at his house when he died. At the time of his death, I took Jennifer into the front yard and told her that Grandpa Jimmy had gone to be with Jesus. She has remembered this and has mentioned it before when seeing pictures of him or talking about him.


Our conversation tonight turned from talking about dogs dying, to her asking "will i die?"and then a tender conversation during our family pray time about the reality of death and that we dont know when it will happen. i asked her "who knows when we will die?" and she responded “God does.” We talked about how we be with God once we do die, and that we'd see Grandpa Jimmy as well, and about how gloriously beautiful heaven is described in the Bible. I asked her “who loves you more than papa and I do?” and she said “God does” and I reminded her that if he loves her that much, she can know she will be safe here or in heaven. She continued to ask questions like “will you cry when I die?” and “will you and I die at the same place?” And Mike and I continued to remind her that we do not know when it will happen to anybody, but that God will keep us here as long as he wants us to be, and that as we follow God's directions for us, we stay right with the one who knows all our days. She asked us “is Heaven up in the sky?”and we reminded her about the story in her Jesus Bible Storybook when Jesus rose up into Heaven and His disciples were staring into the sky waiting for him, that the angel reminded them to continue about what Jesus had for them to do on earth then, and not just stare up waiting for him. That God has jobs even for her to do in life, like learning the right things to do, and helping other people, and being joyful.


I never would have imagined I'd be having these conversations with my three year old. She seems to grasp these difficult things so very well, and I feel that God is guiding our conversations, so that we have answers that are not confusing to her. I constantly pray that I will continue to trust God in leading us to disciple our little ones.


After tucking her in, I went to the piano and sang this song:
It Is Not Death To Die

VERSE 1 It is not death to die
To leave this weary road
And join the saints who dwell on high
Who’ve found their home with God
It is not death to close
The eyes long dimmed by tears
And wake in joy before Your throne
Delivered from our fears

CHORUS
O Jesus, conquering the grave
Your precious blood has power to save
Those who trust in You
Will in Your mercy find
That it is not death to die

VERSE 2
It is not death to fling
Aside this earthly dust
And rise with strong and noble wing
To live among the just
It is not death to hear
The key unlock the door
That sets us free from mortal years
To praise You evermore

© 2008 Integrity’s Praise! Music/Sovereign Grace Praise (BMI)



link to the sheet music and chords for the song, if you need it:
http://www.sovereigngracemusic.org/Songs/It_Is_Not_Death_to_Die/10

I also found this related blog article, I recommend reading it, too:
http://thepaperthinhymn.com/tag/henri-malan/

a regular entry, instead of part of the series....

I miss a home of our own...

like...today...i miss being able to let my kid have her getting-home-and-its-past-naptime tantrums without worrying that it will possibly needlessly offend my grandmother,  who has taken to thinking *every* time jennifer has a meltdown, it is somehow directly related to how jennifer feels about said grandmother.....which everyone else knows just simply has nothing to do with anything more than jennifer being a three year old...

i don't see this working well with a newborn being added in january...it just will not be good for my grandmother of for me, because i know that she will be worried and/or offended anytime one of my children isn't acting completely happy....

so i am praying now for the right place to be revealed to us so that we can move into some kind of renting situation sometime in november, possibly....

part three: from sickness into health (looks like there will be at least four)

(click here for part one)
(click here for part two)

I found some prayer journal entries i made surrounding the first surgery


October 4,2012
Tomorrow is Mike's consult with the surgeon. His GI doctor truly has tried to think of every other viable option prior to this.
Help me to continue to trust not only you, and your leading on this, but also the wisdom of the doctors you've provided for us. Knowing that Mike's case has been discussed at hospital meetings and used as a teaching discussion kind of helps solidify to me that Dr. Gully is taking this very seriously, not just dealing with the patient at the moment they are in the building, but carrying his concern to others to try to solve this mystery.
At the same time, I don't want to sound harsh, or under appreciative of some friends' concern and advice at mentioning special diets and health advice. It is difficult to receive when I never did fully trust Mike's assigned dietician's advice and understanding...
Please give me wisdom and knowledge to best feed my husband and trust you to bring your healing in the best way possible, that you receive the honor and glory for it all.


October 23, 2012
As of Friday (last week) we have Michael's surgery scheduled! I think I am so relived to see an end to the medicine treatments that don't work but that wear on my husband with side effects... This feels like a breath of fresh air. I realise it will not be all roses getting from where we are to the new Michael. Its a 3 surgery process across the span of about 6 months. He still will not function the same as the rest of us, but if all of this goes as planned, he wont need to use a bag for the rest of his life, and the outcome, though not as convenient as someone who's never had UC, will be easier than his life now. I am confident that this is right. I do not have a guarantee that all the details will go perfectly, but I feel so at ease about letting them operate on my dear Michael...
You,God, are trustworthy and faithful. You continue to provide for us through support financially and in prayer. You've not only given us a church family to take care of us...but TWO locally, plus one in Mississippi and one in Texas, all who have been tremendous to us in their care. I'm trusting you with the doctor and nurses you've put us with-you have made them and placed them. Help us to shine in our faith, that they see you in our reactions. Give me wisdom and grace to accept help and to know what help I need, as friends seek to assist us in service to you.
Psalm 100:3 “Know that the LORD, He is God! It is He who made us and we are his; We are his people and the sheep of his pasture.”


October 25, 2012
I keep being drawn to the Psalms. This morning I am at Psalm 102, which feels like it may be the cry of my husband when it talks about the pain and disheartened stress.
Help us not to have a false sense of hope going into this surgery....I mean prepare him for the continued difficulties he will face even though the worst will be gone. Help me to be patient with him and compassionate when he gets frustrated with the correct foods to eat. Give us both extra grace to face these difficulties together and help each other through them.
I hope and desire that by the time he is able to consistently face life out of the house again, that someone will have a job available to him, preferring someone with the knowledge and compassion to see us through the next two surgeries and recovery period. It would be amazing both financially and for him emotionally, to have that available. Please open now the way in which we should go with that.
Thank you for continuing to provide more than just enough with our very little. I feel like the widow with the oil jar, or the boy with the lunch of what we are able to earn, we should not be able to make ends meet, but you have been stretching our dollars for the past three years, never giving us what society would call “plenty” but never leaving us in need of anything. We have been clothed,fed with difficult diet needs, kept cars running and bills paid. You moved us twice and covered all our medical needs,and even provided that we were able to go to Haiti. Math would not add these up and match our income.


December 18, 2012
Today Michael begins work again! His last paycheck was written in September 2011. You have not failed to provide for us. This month took our savings account down to $50. Not enough left in it to cover our next month's bills. I asked of you, Lord, to provide for us financially,and you immediately began to give through your people. 1^St $12 then $50 and now a source of income.
So I do not forget in the future, Mike is going back to work at Fast Signs. He will be 3 days a week. It has been 3 years since he's worked there. 2 years since he asked them about rehiring him (when we moved back), and 1 ½ years since we found ourselves members at the same church as Melanie and Miles. Only you could have planned these circumstances-to place us in fellowship with them, that they know our situation, know he will have to work and then take off again-and have OFFERED him this at the moment we found ourselves most in need. You are so faithful. You are great and praised. I remember asking you months ago,that you would provide a job offer JUST like this at this very moment.
You are teaching me the importance of asking for specifics of you. Acknowledging my need and your power to provide it.
Help me continue to not only trust you to carry us, but to provide for our wants and needs as we express them humbly to you.

part two of our journey from sickness into health:

When sickness feels like all we know...

(please read part one first)


Once diagnosed, his GI doctor prescribed medication for the inflammation, and his dietician provided supplements to add to his meals for extra calories. By Spring 2012 he had begun to drop weight. He had always been thin- lanky, some would say. But in the process of only a few weeks he dropped about 25-30 lbs. At his worst I think he came in at near 135 at 6ft tall, and Having about 20 bowel movements a day had become average for him, and there is just little one can do to catch up with that kind of loss. He actually had developed sores on his rear from sitting on the toilet so much with almost no body fat to cushion it.


Emotionally, in many ways I began to feel like a single mother. I was the primary caregiver and only worked part-time myself- Michael at this time was still doing his part-time music director job, but he couldnt work full-time. He was unable to commit to spending time with jennifer during her toddler days because he often had to run to the restroom and might have a mess to clean up afterward, and if that didnt happen, he just didnt have the energy to enjoy her. She couldnt sit in his lap, because his insides were so inflamed that they were painful and tender, so his lap became off limits most of the time He couldnt sit on the floor. If I went to the store, she went with me or stayed with my parents. When it came to our intimacy, that was hard to come by, too. I wouldnt know when or how to simply hug him without hurting him...I usually had to rely on his initiation for...anything. I did my best to prepare healthy meals for the three of us, but never knew if he would be able to stay at the table, or even feel like eating anything. In April Michael had to step down from his music position because he just couldnt know he could be in place each week. We were going to church in separate cars. He had begun having to leave during church services, or was sometimes unable to show up at all. It was difficult to delicately explain his reasons, because usually it meant he had either been up most of the night running to the bathroom and maybe moping the hallway, or that he had had an accident on the way to church...or in the middle of church. I was raising our child, holding our only job (and part-time), keeping up with our groceries and our bills, leading the hymns at our church, and all the while keeping a loving and gracious face toward my husband as I tried my best to be his helper though sometimes i just watched him fade, not understanding how much longer we would have to deal with not seeing healing...or how much longer his body could last at the rate it was going.


He was on pills, infusions, and steroids for inflammation, for diarrhea prevention, for blood loss...I cannot remember the number of times Michael's medications were changed...every month or couple of weeks...either from a bad reaction to one, or simply not seeing any result from another. Side-effects ranged from sleeplessness, immune suppression, thrush, constipation, fatigue, cancer-risk, there was even one he was on which was known to cause birth defects in children, if we had conceived during his taking it, or within 6 months after ending it.(that one, I was thankful to move past-i was so thankful that it didnt work. I remember crying prayers in the shower during that because I wanted so much to have another baby, and for jennifer to have a close sibling, as I had grown up blessed with, and if this drug worked or didnt, it was taking months off of our being able to try to conceive. I remember releasing it to the Lord and realizing that at that very moment he could be forming a baby for us to have later by adoption if he wouldnt have us birth another of our own blood. So right there in the shower I prayed for that possible baby and for the struggles the mother may be facing which might draw her to need adoption down the road.) After trying every medication and sticking with the low-fiber diet for a ridiculous amount of time, He. Never. Saw. Remission. Surgery clearly became our only option. His body wasn't gaining weight back. To me, his body had begun to look like images of people in impoverished countries, or in the Holocaust. He wasn't that far gone...yet, but his ribs and collar bones were more than sightly visible, and his rear had become concave at each hip. His thighs matched my calves, I think. In my mind, surgery would seem like a miracle....bringing him back from a road to an early death which I couldnt bear to think about...and his dad passed away that June....I had watched Linda watch her husband fade out of health and into the arms of God, and she and I gave each other looks that seemed to say how much we understood one another's pain in loving and caring for someone that you cannot possible actually help...we had that in common, though I did not want to follow her entire road just yet....

We met with Dr Lane, the GI surgeon, in September of last year to evaluate Michael's candidacy for surgery and what the outcome could look like. We came loaded with questions, and Dr. Lane seemed to answer each of them before we had to ask them. We knew that he was not only familiar with the subject matter, but also very conservative and cautious in his approach to it. He suggested because of how much strength Michael had lost, that the surgery be completed in three parts. (This is sometimes done in only two) He did not want to rush the decision process or the healing process of the surgeries. In all, Michael would first lose his entire colon and receive an ostomy his first surgery, have a “jpouch” created during a second surgery, and then have his ostomy reversed on the third surgery. While we were certainly apprehensive about surgeries and about the months michael would spend with a bag on his belly and what that would be like, I felt like this man was offering me our lives back, giving us the “in health” portion of our marriage vows which we have so longed to experience.
He put Michael on some extra protein to prepare his body to be better able to heal after surgery, and then told him to try his best to put on some weight. We scheduled his first of a three-part surgery for November 2012.

Next entry: the surgeries and recovery periods, etc

(proceed to part three)

long.time.coming- our journey through sickness and into health: part one

I've been in the process of transferring much of the blog entries i wrote during my pregnancy and first years with jennifer into a handwritten journal. Its something i started two years ago and have not been very good at completing it. I finally am to the point of transferring the section after her birth. I honestly feel as though by being so far behind in it, i am missing things i would love to share with regarding her 2nd and 3rd years, but it has been very therapeutic for me to have just now rewritten the sections from labor and her birth. i needed to dive deep into those thoughts again now as i am just beginning to feel movements of our second little one and want to learn from and remember jennifers birth now so clearly so i can be better prepared for this little one.

This brought me to realize i haven't made any entries in a year and a half. this time-span may well be called the most difficult year and a half we've seen, thus my lack of updates.  Even the months before that when i did post, it was almost entirely chronicling the life of our daughter, and ignoring the difficult-to-talk-bout health issues of my beloved. Though we have grown so much...we have certainly hurt much....i haven't wanted to write about it...because i haven't wanted to face it in print, or maybe even admit it...in the midst of it. now that i've been rereading and rewriting the experiences just prior to it, i am reminded of the huge benefit of having my experiences written down, and of the great opportunity I have been avoiding to give God more praise for His faithfulness and stability in our journey....and i hope that i have not waited too long to engage my memory in recording what i've been through.....bear with me as I attempt to recount these skipped-over parts of our family.

The year after Michael and I were married, we both discovered running. I got into it with some friends of mine, and he followed me into and turned out to be a lot better at committing to it. He would get up and run in the mornings before going to work, and sometimes would ride his bike to work instead of driving. About a year into becoming so active, Michael began to have more and more really irritating symptoms and we didnt know what they might be symptoms of. He began to have difficulty completing a run without needing to find a place to use the restroom. We'd heard that sometimes runners have issues with that, so at first it was just embarrassing, but sometimes he didn't make it to a restroom in time... About January 2009, 6 months before we moved to fort worth, through some trial and error, and reading about symptoms, we self-diagnosed Michael with Celiac disease, and because all his symptoms fit (frequent diarrhea, skin dryness and red itchy patches, vitamin and iron deficiency, mood swings, etc...) AND it is an illness which is only treated by a diet change, we changed his diet to test our theory. we removed gluten from his -and mostly from my- diet, we waited. because of the way celiac works, we knew it could take 1 to 2 years to see remission, so immediate results were not expected, nor seen. However, he did seem to be experiencing fewer symptoms, so we thought we were on the correct path.

....Then came our move to Texas. With that, the stress of job hunting, financial worry, expecting our first child, school, discovering Michael's dad had brain cancer... Everything you ever read says that stress aggravates digestive issues, so it did not much surprise me that as school became more challenging, so did keeping up with Michael's nutrition (and laundry...) He was working, or in classes most of the time and coming home to change clothes whenever he'd have an episode. (that's what i'll call it, its nicer that way..see why i avoided writing about this previously?)

This lead us to need to move back from Texas much sooner than we had planned, and as  we know now, stayed in this same situation for much longer than we had imagined... refer to  This entry for more context on our move...and if you add in the part about Michael's failing health, it makes a bit more sense. i hate that i wasn't willing to face and admit this gaping need in our lives for support. it was so very difficult to talk about, so only those closest to us knew the whole story. i just wish i had written it out more honestly....for me...and for anyone who may now be able to benefit from our past struggles.

So....after we'd moved to North Augusta, into my grandmother's house, I quickly called to begin the process of getting Jennifer on SC medicaid...and turns out our entire family got it, which was something I just wasn't looking for. This  began Michael and myself getting routine Dr exams...which neither of us had afforded in...decades. Michael began to talk with his physician about his assumed celiac, and at the same time we decided to go to Haiti with a mission team from our church...thus needed lots of shots and antibiotics for the trip. the many doctor trips for mission trip shots kind of overshadowed his need for further testing, plus his primary care Doc moved so he was shifted around a bit from doctor to doctor in the practice. also, add to that, once he began complaining of symptoms worsening after the mission trip, he kept being treated as though he had picked something up in Haiti, rather than as though he has been struggling with diarrhea, anemia, and lack of bowel control for months and years prior. We knew this wasn't a parasite or reaction to something out of the country. Finally, ended up being assigned the same Doctor i've been seeing the whole time, whom I had been very pleased with, and she heard his whole story and immediately understood his issues needed looking into. from April 2011 to November 2011 as he was shuffled from doctor to doctor, he also ended up losing his job due to being late or having to clock out early...completely due to his digestive issues. In November 2011 he finally was given testing to see if something else were wrong with his digestive system. we were immediately told that he had inflammatory bowel disease which meant he had ulcerative colitis or Crohns, While we didnt know till january 2012 which he had, and both take somewhat opposite diet changes to live with and treat, it was knowing something, and knowing that we had help getting to the root of it. knowing that there ARE treatments available...etc. having a tested diagnosis and medical team working with us was such a relief. Anytime someone is vying for you, on your team, and helping to find a solution, it helps carry the weight.

Due to holiday schedules, it was January before we got the diagnosis...and found out he had ulcerative colitis. it meant that almost everything he ate caused his colon to become and stay inflamed. it is an auto-immune disease, so his system was attacking his colon. Theoretically, if you can find out your triggers, once the colon calms down, you may just have a few foods to avoid to keep from getting sick. I had wondered why being gluten free had helped him feel a little better....turns out...the best help to UC during a flair up, is going to a low fiber diet. prior to going gluten free, we had been eating whole grain everything, so in switching to gluten free foods, we had dropped a significant portion or our grain fiber, and were mainly getting fruit and veggie fiber. still more than was recommended for someone with a severely inflamed colon, but significantly less than previous...thus the noted improvement.

So....recap:
January 2009 assumed celiac, went gluten free
November 2010 declining health issues and stress, moved back to north augusta, in with grandma.
April 2011 through November 2011 dealt with not getting tested and not getting listened to.
January 2012 found out what was the issue. time to celebrate...right?

well....Spring, summer, and fall 2012 were a doozy....i'll get into that part in a later entry....i promise.

(proceed to part two)

new years day: and yes, i even made a resolution

(originally written as i was thinking through a class discussion for the college aged sunday school class i head-up. )

My daughter loves to find all of the Baby Jesus’ she can in everyone’s decorations. At home, at Grandparent’s houses, at church, everywhere! (My child also is very aware that there are at least two babies in the Bible stories, and wasn’t quite sure why we don’t also have baby Moses decorations in the house to go with all of the baby Jesus decorations. )

It is difficult for my 20 month old to understand that people grow from babies into big kids and then adults. We were watching Tangled this weekend, and because it begins with Rapunzel as a baby, my little one spent the next 45 minutes of the movie watching now-grown-Rapunzel in front of her eyes, while asking where the baby was and wanting to see the baby again.

But…how easy is it for each of us to also forget that baby Jesus is the same Jesus Christ, our savior. He grew through boyhood and into a young man. He ate, he slept, he walked, he had friends, he cried, he laughed, he felt discouraged, he felt every weight of sin at his death. He really did live, and he really did die.

Now that my daughter understands that Jesus was a sweet little baby, I have to help her learn to understand that Jesus grew from that tiny baby, into a real man who experienced real life, with all of its messiness…and that He is fully God…and that He brings healing, and peace, and that He did it all to save His people from their sins.

Now that those around us have just seen depictions of Jesus all around them and heard his gospel in the Christmas songs in the shopping centers and light shows, How can we help them understand the Jesus who grew up to be their savior?

In order to help all of these confused people, though…I first have to look myself at my view of Jesus. The baby. The man who really lived. The man who called me to be holy. He demanded that I leave everything for the sake of following Him. The person who called me to love my neighbors and pray for my enemies. I cannot help my little ones or my lost neighbors understand Jesus unless I live each day for the man who lived and died to save ME.

I must confess…I feel as though I’ve “missed” something this Christmas..and it all has to do with the fact that I haven’t taken the time to get alone in the Word on any kind of regular basis during the business of the celebrations. I’ve let the days fly past me. Days filled with plenty of singing and carols and focusing on the truth and teaching my child—and other people’s children—about the importance of Christ as a baby, but I didn’t give Him His proper priority as The King in my heart this December. My new year’s resolution: step away from the manger and follow the man. I’m going to make time in the Bible a priority and along with that, draw nearer to Jesus in humility and worship of Him as great and mighty and more important than all of the grand things He has blessed me with. He is creator, healer, King, ruler, and without Him, I’d be absolutely destitute—in every way possible.

1 Corinthians 15 (if Christ was not raised from the dead, then nothing in our Faith counts for anything)

Galatians 2:19-21 (I have been crucified with Christ. It is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me.)

Resolved: 1. read the word 2. Pray fervently

Georgia Baptist Disaster Relief, Haiti 2011

Its only been a little over a month since my previous entry, but it feels like i haven't written in ages.

We've left for and returned from Haiti. Somehow it doesn't even feel to me that we went to another country....it simply feels that we went to another community where almost everyone speaks a language we dont understand...and we got creative with ministry and creating VBS lessons on the fly, or at least in very little time--praying that the gospel was seen and heard in spite of our stumbling and some grumbling. It was a lesson in letting go of my control on a situation and being extremely flexible--not knowing what was going on from day-to-day very far in advance--trusting each moment to God's all-knowing hands. It was a study in embracing down-time, getting lots of rest--but waking up by the rooster call at sunrise. And even though i wasn't on a trip chaperoning a youth group or anything, It became an opportunity to no longer be one of the youngest adults on the trip, but to have the tables turned to be one of those middle-aged and more "experienced" people. It was my first time out of the country--my first time off the ground, even.
That's the short of it...here are some more details:
On Saturday June 18th we left Augusta about 3:30am. By about 3:30 in the afternoon we were arriving in our home for the week in Leogane, Haiti. During those twelve hours we rode in a van for 2.5 hrs, sat in an airport for 2 hrs, rode in a plane for 2 hrs, rushed through another airport eating and getting to the gate in about an hour, rode in another plane for 2 hrs, waited in lines and baggage claim in the immigration area at another airport for about 45 minutes, then jostled around in a tap-tap for another 2 hrs.
The trip was organized by the Georgia Baptist Convention Disaster Relief. GBC has a house rented in Leogane for the mission teams to use, which includes 1-2 disaster relief volunteers trained to facilitate and supervise all the incoming teams. the house can support about 24 people besides its Haitian staff and the GBC volunteers. This particular week the 24 people were: 8 of us from the Augusta area, a group we'd formed from two sister churches (Lake Park Baptist and Curtis Baptist), 14 GA baptist college students aged 18-27, plus the husband-wife team who lead them. The 8 of us didn't know each other very well, and turns out the 16 of them hadn't all met one another either, so it was a bonding experience all around.
We arrived, rather uncertain what our job would be in Haiti. Not many think of VBS as disaster relief work, but if you stop and think about it, children are deeply impacted by disaster, and very often looked over in the very important things of being shown love and compassion, and more than anything else-they need Jesus. We knew we were "likely" be working with children, but we didn't know how they would be grouped up, if we'd see the same group daily, or if they were churched or unchurched to begin with.
Because we were so uncertain what to plan, we didn't plan anything at all prior to our flight, which God allowed to be perfect, because when we arrived at the GA house, we were shown a beautiful stockpile of supplies at our fingertips! craft kits, outdoor game supplies, construction paper, beads, string, evangelism tools in their Haitian Kreole language, you name it, we could probably find it there in the stairwell!

Our team of 8 worked with 2 churches. The first was what we like to call the "country church" and the second was the "city church." The country church was literally "over the river and through the woods." because a bridge was closed, we drove through a riverbed! (the rainy season wasn't strong at the time, so the river wasn't a big challenge, but it keeps the story interesting!)
We spent Sunday through Tuesday at the country church. This congregation has been in place for over 40 years, and their ministry is vibrant. I saw our time there was a great encouragement to the pastor, who is aging and not feeling well, and the other layleaders within the congregation. We were encouraged to meet several ladies who are great at leading the children in scripture memory and a great worship rally. They were a great help to us and I feel good about the future of that church with women like that helping bring up the truth within the children we met. They currently meet in a tin and wood-frame tent type structure, but have a foundation and are beginning the process of brick-making for rebuilding their church building. We saw 25 to 100 kids, depending on the moment.

Wednesday through Friday we were at the city church. The church has about 100-150 members, but hosts a school of over 400 children. The pastor at the city church is the pastor in charge of lining up churches for all the GBC teams to work with each week, but it is not every week that his own church gets missionaries. It is a Save the Children food site, and directly on the main highway through town. School was on holiday during the days that we were there, due to some testing many of the students were attending. We had about the same numbers at this church, but in a much larger facility. Their church was made of tarps instead of tin, but similar construction. there were "school rooms" set up adjoining the "sanctuary" area. We only used the main area for our activities. (we gradually learned that one translator means keep everyone together as much as we can!)
We didn't see mass-conversions or get any life-changing, mind-blowing testimonies from our time with these churches, but we know that the gospel was shared multiple times, and that there is a strong ministry within each of the communities in which we were able to serve. We know that we planted and watered some seeds. God knows the growth which will occur due to our willingness to love these little ones. It could change the nation of Haiti. But even if it doesn't, it certainly will change more than one or two lives.

Our work at the churches was typically wrapped up each day by about noon, and the final meal in the house was served about 4, so we had a lot of evening time to bond with the other teams. One night someone decided it would be neat to share testimonies, and it caught on so well that it took the span of three evenings. By the time we'd all shared, it seemed that a theme had formed: invest in the life of someone around you. (testimonies about those who'd been invested in, testimonies from those who'd done the investing, requests to find Christian community now that they've returned from college, etc...)

I think it is interesting that we went to another country to be impacted with the message to put our passion to work right where we are. I think we all-too-often try to push off ministry till we are "on the field" someplace...neglecting the fields all around us.
We left the GA house on saturday June 25th just after breakfast, spent about 1.5 hrs in another tap-tap, about 5 hours in the Port Au Prince airport, 2 more hours in the air, 3 hours on US soil in another airport thankful for trash cans and government officials who regulate their cleanup, 2 more hours in the air, them 2-3 more hours by van--arriving home about 4:30am Sunday--And 3 hrs of sleep, up for reuniting with Jenbug and going to church!
I'm so thankful for this opportunity to be able to go. Now I'm eagerly looking forward to continuing and taking up new ministries here through our new church family at Woodridge and through deepening intentional relationships already established. I'm also looking forward to getting some more stamps in this passport of mine within the next 10 years!

amazing things: 1. God sustained our family-we made it through being divided for a week. I cannot imagine making it a whole week without my little girl without God having given me the strength. 2. During a particularly unstable/uncertain experience our team was kept absolutely 100% safe. 3. absolutely no fear of flying (i was fairly confident it would be fine, glad i was right) 4. full provision of all our VBS "resource room" needs, even left tons more for future teams use!


2 Prayer requests:
1. Pray for the pastors of each of the churches we worked with, that they would be encouraged and that workers would raise up alongside them within the community.
2. Pray for those of us who have returned, that we would keep the vision we came home with.

Shabby Apple Overboard Dress Giveaway

Shabby Apple Overboard Dress Giveaway

from Let the Nations Be Glad-by Piper

"Missions exists because worship doesn't."

Just started reading this book today. I haven't been much of one for finishing the books I start, but I hope I stick with this one.

from the corner sewing table

I've been crazy about my sewing corner recently! most of them have been refashions or re-purposing of fabric. so many finished projects i need to post....

listing them here, hopefully will remind me to add all of the photos from them soon

1. ribbon socks and bows, from ribbon jenbug got for her birthday

2. breezy tank top turned baby dress
(i did not make the flower clip on her headband...did make the headband, though!)

3. "Bali Bliss" outfit from online free pattern...made in a weekend from fabric purchased on sale about 8 years ago for a project i never did. will probably make this again with some tweaking..the top is a little too small and the pants were way too baggy...but since jenbug is adorable, she can pull off any look :)

4. jeans turned skirt....a project i've done a couple of other times. great fix to favorite jeans which have gotten a hole worn in the seat, or to a pair with too low of a rise. This time i added a little flare to the shape...love it! but hope to lose some weight soon so it can be converted to a maternity one for next pregnancy. (i have two more pairs of jeans that dont fit, which i am considering making into skirts to sell...i think they are size 13 or 15...anyone want to give input as to the length they'd like?)

(no photo yet)

5. long sleeved white cotton nightgown turned short sleeved. (saving the sleeves to maybe make some bloomerish pants for jenbug

(project not complete...photo after!)

i credit most of my inspiration for these projects to following grosgrain. you should follow her blog too!

The Toddler Days

since my last entry, my child has become a toddler, much of life has become a series of following and cleaning up after her. Since she is now only a few days fro thirteen months old, I would apologize for the delay in updates, but since she hasn't even had her twelve month doctor visit yet, i don't feel too far behind.
Photos may not come soon, but not today because i am posting this from my parent's computer (internet at our house is kinda of in and out recently...working on that)

Jenbug turned one on April 22nd, Good Friday. I'd already decided to postpone her party till the following weekend, because i know uncle Nick wasn't going to be able to make it during Easter weekend, due to his own church obligations in Columbia. After invitations had been ordered and mailed, we found out that Grandma Linda was going to be able to come to town from MS for the weekend, since its a school holdiay! So, though the official party wasn't till a week later, plenty of celebration occurred during bug's birthday weekend! Friday night jen got to open gifts from her mississippi family, and practice smashing up some cake, which was a huge hit (great video from that can be found on my facebook!) That Saturday we spent the morning at the Riverbanks Zoo and had a picnic lunch in the wooded picnic area afterward.

The official birthday party almost had to be canceled, because jenbug caught something mid-week which had her fever up for a couple of days, whatever it was seemed to have mostly worked itself out by Party-day, so celebration continued- Ladybug birthday cakes and all! i was a little disappointed that the "real" smash cake wasn't as big of a hit as the previous weekend, but overall, it was a great party with good family time had by all.

at one year and one week old, jenbug took her first observed steps! 2 or 3 at a time, then a few more the next day during her party. Now she is able to cross whole rooms, though much of the time she chooses to crawl instead. It is lots of fun watching her develop and cheering her on in her successes, even when she falls at the end.

only the start of this role of encouragement as a parent...growing up is so full of mostly-successful attempts which may end in a little failure....Lord, help me continue to cheer my children on as they grow. Even if they eventually fall, let me encourage the good attempted!

12 month pediatrician appointment is tomorrow morning, so we'll find out how our eager eater is growing. According to wi-fit, she has caught up well to a healthy weight! 19lbs yesterday, which for a 13 month old, charts about 10%! way up from where she was at 9 and 10 months!

belated 9 month pedatrician appointment stats

so, jennifer turned 9 months january 22nd, but got her 9 month checkup on february 14th (happy valentines! have some shots!)
i was hoping the delay might make her chart a little higher, cheat the system a bit, you know? but instead, she came in soooo tiny!

my child weighs 14lb, 15 oz, (3%)
she is 25.5" long (3%)
and her head is still big for her size, at 50% (didnt get the inches for that)
which means her proportions are still the same, she just hasn't grown much overall. i had suspected that she was a little bit small, but i thought she was in the 16lb range...she wasnt even to 15 yet?

otherwise, she is a very healthy and active little girl. due to her teeniness, we're adding a 4th meal to her day (Taco Bell advertises 4th meal, right?) and making sure she gets lots of good healthy stuff in that tummy! though she has always eaten breakfast and dinner very well, lunch has been sometimes hearty and sometimes sparse. so we're working on a fuller lunch, plus a full snacktime too.

she got caught up on her hep and flu shots and goes back in may for more stat checks :)

Valentines from the Corner sewing Table

I have been spending a lot of time at my other corner table recently. Last week i set up a designated craft space for my sewing machine and all of my artsy supplies to be at arms-reach rather than in a closet or under a bed. This has been dreamed of for years!
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Being a teacher this Valentines Day, I thought I should get something little to give to my class of 3yr-olds, but since we are tight on finances, i decided to make something for them. After a couple of days trying to think of something which would be fairly simple, made from materials i already have, and look cute...here's what I came up with!
first i cut out the felt. two squares of one color and a heart in a contrasting color. the hearts are 2", the squares were about 2.5"-3" each
next, with the sewing machine loaded with a contrast color as the main thread, and blend in color of bobbin thread (white, in this case) I zigzag stitched the heart to one of the squares. be careful as you make turns...with the needle DOWN, lift the presser foot and slightly turn the fabric, stitch a few, repeat as needed. make sure the needle is down when you lift so it doesn't lose your place. go slowly and it will turn out great.
(photos to show what settings i used...zigzag width and stitch length)
then I trimmed the edges of this square with pinking sheers. I originally waited to trim both layers after finishing, but i thought they looked kind of like ravioli with both edges trimmed, plus it was harder to cut through both evenly...these sheers are not new, and also kind of small. 12 students had me choose to spare my hands the agony.
next i reset the machine to a narrower zag and a slightly longer stitch to finish (totally your choice, but these are what i used.)
sew both squares together on 3 sides, stop with the needle in the DOWN position, but don't remove your work from the sewing machine.
Add a little bit of stuffing (they are tiny, so a little really will do fine)
then continue stitching the 4th side.
trim up any uneven edges.
lastly, with a yarn needle i stretched the felt and poked a hole in a corner and slipped a piece of ribbon through and attached the card. (I've found it difficult to use a hole punch on felt.)
these would also make cute pincushions! This last photo shows what i meant when i said my first ones looked kind of like ravioli! anyone looking to make some toy pasta? that would be an interesting play set....

9 months and so busy :)

Dear Jenbug,
You have been outside of my body for as long as you were inside of it! While I will always be amazed at how much of you was pieced together within, you have grown and learned so much in the time you've been out here with us, too!
You sometimes say "papa" for daddy, though once when he was gone you said "dada!" You say "baby" when you see pictures of babies, or your babydoll, or your reflection. You say "bye bye" when we tell it to you first, and you put all kinds of other sounds together when you have something to say. If only we could understand you now!

You can crawl everywhere and stand up when you get where you want to be (while holding on still.) You can dance a little and "sing" and love to play music with drums, shakers, rattles, and bells.
You like to "read" your books, and are very careful while turning the pages back and forth. You enjoy petting the dog and getting doggie kisses (or hitting her in the nose...or using her as a pull-up spot...)
You have recently been playing your own version of chase, or hide and seek...which involves you crawling out of the family room and waiting on someone to come after you, when we find you, you grin and begin crawling quickly away! You just got a swing in the backyard, and love to be pushed fast and high.
You are very snuggly just after a bath when you're wrapped up in your towel, and also when we are out around people you haven't warmed up to yet. I love how you shyly tilt your head in toward me, letting others know you want to stay with your mommy.
While you still haven't cut any teeth, you are a very good eater most of the time. You still eat lots of purred foods, but also love Cheerios, Kix, pieces of banana, black eyed peas and other legumes, chunks of sweet potato, pieces of crackers or bread, and really got into eating pieces of the apple cinnamon pancakes we had a few weeks ago! You're very good at holding your cup, but still trick us into holding it for you sometimes.
Your 9 month pediatrician appointment is going to be a few weeks late, so we don't know your growth chart marks yet. We do know that you are smaller than "average." You started wearing size 3 diapers about 2 weeks ago, and while we are starting to pack some of your small clothes away, most of your clothes are 3-6 month sizes. You have some 6-9 month sizes in rotation, mainly because the season change required them! You still have a pair of 0-3 month pants in your regular rotation! I think you weigh between 15 and 16 lbs...we'll find out on Valentines Day at Dr. Davids office (your first trip to see him as your pediatrician!)
Your father and I often find ourselves gazing at you while you sleep in your bed, bragging about what a sweet little baby we have. I look at pictures of you from when you were first born and can't believe how tiny you were compared to now. I know you're growing up, and even in these images of you, you will appear tiny by comparison as you grow into a young lady.