this is my last night officially living in the appartment with the guys.
i move back to campus tomorrow.
this is the last time i'll move to that campus.
i'm so very excited to be moving back to school.
i cant remember ever missing people so much.
i think i learned a lot last year about people.
i think i was too absorbed in myself and my own time to see them in previous years.
i miss the times last year when people would come see me in the listening lab..and we'd just talk..for hours.
i invested time in people
i invested words in people
i invested hugs in people.
i wont neglect those things.
i refuse to.
i will make more times..more memories like this.

It feels like every year gets better
i cant imagine what this year will bring...
and i almost feel bad for finishing in 4 years..
maybe that 5thyear could hold even more for me.
of course, it will hold a lot for me..just a lot of completely new things.
non school things.

i dont have a clue what my life is going to look like on may 18th.
i have a pretty good idea what i'll be doing with most of my time between now and then.
i know what classes i must take.
i know generally when those classes meet and who will be in them with me.
but i dont have any idea what the otherside of may 17th will be like.

i dont know where i'll live.
i dont know where i'll work.
i dont know who i'll invest my time in.
i dont know who i'll depend on for hugs from day to day...week to week.

i'm starting to see it like a christmas gift.
wrapped by the one who loves me more than i can ever imagine.
i know its going to be something wonderful.
i just can't yet know what it will be.
i'm anxious for it.
i keep playing guessing games with him,
hoping he'll let some of the secret slip.