it is spring

i can't believe its already the end of march! (and i HAVE to put the rent check in the mail!)
its amazing-beautiful-sunny today and im off work..but im kind of holed up in my room for a little bit till i get it into some sort of order...because i 1.had about two weeks worth of laundry to put away and 2.decided today was the day to move the winter clothes to less convenient places and pull out the summer clothes.

so ive got almost all of the closet clothes put away and now i need to pull everything from my dresser drawers and resort that...and THEN i'll make myself to outside and enjoy the sun...whilst getting other errands run. (gosh..i probably need to go grocery shopping...i dont know what i live off of these days...instant oatmeal?)

im listening to Dvorak's Stabat Mater. we're perfmorning this next month in Augusta Choral Society. its an amazing work...very operatic feeling...very dramaticly set...and dark. i cant believe what a short practice span we have for this! may 5th, for anyone who's interested.


Quando corpus morietur,
Fac, ut animae donetur
Paradisi gloria. Amen.

When my body shall die,
Grant that my soul be given
The glory of Paradise. Amen.

what was it about february 25th?

i was just reading over some of my friends journals...and a peculiar point was noted: i have at least three friends who've not updated since exactly february 25th. does that not seem sort of queer?

he is risen..indeed

my voice was completely gone for three days..it returned on wednesday. i was home alone and thought to try talking...which feels realy strange, i assure you...to be testing your talking skills while home alone. when i attempted and actually thought i was speaking, i was sure i must have been mistaken..after those three days of silence..so i called my mom and said "can you hear me?!" and she assured me i was actaully speaking quite clearly, to my own surprise.

so..with voice in check, i was able to work on my singing at our wednesday evening choir rehearsal with the easter orchestra. i found that i had not yet gained all of my voice..but the lower parts of my range..and in soft portions. so i sang about half of the time and praticed animated lipsync in case i would need it at my upcomming performances.

by friday, though..i was back in full swing and was able to sing the whole of our easter portion of handels messsiah without issue. the concert did go notably well, dispite a few hicups in the execution.

saturday morning we had another church choir rehearsal in which i was all of my voice to use in practicing..and tonight is our evensong performance.

i havent appreciated my voice so much in years...and for that i AM thankful. i have come to love singing even the pieces from these concerts that i was very un-fond of previously.
it is very humbling as a singer to have your song taken from you..and what have i done to deserve that it is returned to me? is it mine to have? is it mine to use? no. and so i hope to never forget that it is his to have and to use and to take when he pleases...i am simply the instrument through with the song is played.

added:
today it is raining. it began last night just before midnight and has continued since. i cannot ever remember a past easter which was filled with rain...yet...it seems perfect. this isnt about your cute new white shoes and bright clothes..this is about death of one man with power remove all trace of stain from your record. thats more powerful than any amount of rainfall...this rain is the cleansing..and this rain is tears.

day three of voicelessness

..and now im a mutant! (warning..this might be gross once described..because it sure looked gross to me) so...not only was a completely voiceless this morning at work...but my eyes were all runny and gross....only...this was thicker than what id consider normal for eyegoo. this was definitely where the term "eye booger" came from. i didnt eraly realise the reality of it till i was in my car about to make a coffee shop grocery store trip and i looked in my mirror to clear the corners of my eyes..when i saw a largish GREEN glop in my eye! yes..GREEN. i pulled my lower lid away from my eye and nesteled in that little pocket was a larger mass of green booger. YUCK! i got a kleenex and removed the eyegunk so i could go in the store without scaring everyone.
of course, rubbings eyes turn red and start to hurt....and blur up with more boogers! ack!

glad to now be home, i've discovered that washing boogery eyes with warm water and a very soft washcloth makes them less irritated and the goo is thinner..and not green.

gosh..that was the grossest!

and ive just remembered that we're scheduled to take a family picture tomorrow afternoon...hah! wouldnt that be awesome? i'll either have red irritated eyes...or normal eyes with GREEN BOOGERS in them!

i have lost my voice

i think this is the first time ive REALY lost my voice. there have been times when ive been sick and then ive kept talking when i shouldnt have and worn my voice out....but this is different.

what i have going on now is: i was sick...i thought i was nearly better..i got a realy sore throat...and then i rested my voice because i didnt WANT to ruin it (i sat through a two hour choir rehearsal without making a sound!)...yet it disapeared anyhow. and my throat still hurts much.

hi, im becca the mute.

well, i can still make a little bit of sound..but its like...its like at the level of a nice, non-raspy whisper.

and of course, i have not one..but TWO easter choral concerts this week. hoorah!

oh..and the zoo? that didnt get to happen. jabbo was right.

lets go talk to the animals

i have free passes to the riverbanks zoo which need to be used before the month ends..and realy, my only good day before months end is tomorrow...so...if you're interested, give me a buzz fast! i want to GO!

warning: disjunct and not thought out!

yes..so..as i said, i am feeling surprisingly, a lot better than i expected to this soon.
i can take no credit for this mystery....for the Lord of all mysteries surely had a hand in this...and for this, i am thankful and undeserving.

so..wednesday i was dead..thursday i rested well and got half my work shift covered by someone else...i worked 6 to 10pm and then came home for a friday off work again. friday i didnt need as much rest...but i cleaned up the house from my previous two days of uselessness..and then went to my parents hosue for diner and a movie..and some coughing. yes, on friday i hed begun a nice deep cough. saturday morning i arrived at the coffee shop ...shortly after, i hear word that a wall was to be knocked down during the course of the day...hooray! of course, this chaos fit well with my health..as i was actually feeling much energized from my fully rested past days. we bought out 12 feet more width to our store along the same depth as the store already has..this space is to serve foremost as bulk storage space so that we can stop running out of things all of the time for lack of space to keep enough...and about 6-8 square feet will accomidate as a small office space for a computer and files and such as we have not got room for currently. (one of our main computers sits atop a kitchen refridgerator at this time!) we will also be making part of the new space into a party/conference room which people will be able to rent-out or whatever and can be opened up for overflow space during exam study sessions. i think it will be very good for the store...yes.
hah.i love how i started this to be talking about ME and i ended up talking about WORK! yeah..thats how my mind travels here lately.

so..the short of it is...i was sick..now im feeling a lot better except for coughs...and things at work are getting very interesting...and i just got a "promotion" which means i can continue doing everything ive been doing without feeling like im doing too much for my job title....and that i can justify creating a schedule for myself that i like that wont be constantly in flux.

aside: i washed my sheets and blankets and comforter today...i cant WAIT to get into a clean fluffy bed! :)

aside 2: i wish i had put my thoughts and words about the free laptop deal in as sucsinct a fashion as nick did in his journals...

oh..and i suppose im sick now, too.

shortly after that last entry i realised the only thing i wanted to do was lay in my bed..and i was freezing..so i put on a sweater and got into my bed...under a TON of blankets..and was still cold. i fell asleep. i woke up and took my temperature and its been slowly crawling up all day since. i'm at 100.5 at the moment..my usual is 97.6 - 97.8
i've been taking Airborne and drinking water and sleeping...a LOT.
i should ahve started taking the vitamins a week ago...my roomate was out on the couch coughing and sniffing and popping medicines the whole week. i put it off...so here i am.

but, this is my day off, afterall..so its gonna be alright. right?

i feel as though i've barely existed for the past four days...when i havent been busy doing things..ive been asleep. so here i am, halfway through a week and i feel as though its just begun. saturday i got a job promotion which pretty much keeps me doing the same stuff ive already been doing...and gradually working into more things and learning to delegate a bit more than i do...and i get a little bit more money. i struggled for WEEKS about if i wanted to or to not accept this promotion...i have no idea why i was so afraid...but here we go.
sunday i helped my friend anna feed all of caedmons call and their roadies. who KNEW it could be such a huge job? anna made from scratch their breakfast, lunch, and diner...for around 30 people. i helped transport food from the church kitchen to the college auditorium..i was a lot less help in the kitchen. anna amazed me with her kitchen organization skills on her two hours of sleep.
monday and tuesday i was exauhsted after long work days...so i slept through from the late afternoons to the early evenings.
today is my day off...i'm paying bills..and watching dawsons creek...and NOT being at work.

hey....i have a chance to get a free laptop..and maybe you could get one too...if you help me out.