hrm...well..maybe hope is renewed.

today i attended my first specialty coffee asoc. convention. 8 or 9 of us from the shop went (that includes the owners and their two sons sons) and we were treated to all number of coffee related vendors..from machine companies, roasters, syrups, various cold mixes, cups, everything you think about in running a coffee shop pretty much besides furnishings. some were great..some were horrible.
its a realy cool feeling to have all of these vendors offering you all number of samples and telling you how much they want your business. it makes you feel so important..and they dont even know how important they are to me, if my dream were to fully awaken...and i think it may.
every day that i work at this shop, i'm reminded how many things i'd do differently if i were given the freedom to take it into my own hands...if it were my own.
every vendor that i saw and loved for its own reasons reminded me that i want to be able to be in charge of selecting things completely. those that i didnt love reminded me why selection must be made so carefully. this experience reminded me that i want to have the best coffees..fairest...best quality...that i want to have the most interesting teas..to give the most relaxing experience...that i realy love the way espresso machines look...
now ive got lots more information and will soon recieve more from various vendors whom i left my information with. i almost feel like i could do this. almost. i at least see that i still have a huge passion for it and i feel that my motives and passion are better directed than those of my employers. i feel as though theyve tried to create something quickly and cookie-cutter like, whereas i want something special..something with unique charm and a deeper level of thought put into the selections... it takes a lot of research and hunting out the best of everything

*shrugs* i'm rambling...and i'm tired....but at least i'm thinking.